C's Kick Heat In Nuts With Buzzer Beater, Extend Win Streak To 3

 

Are you freakin' serious!?!? Did the "rebuilding" Boston Celtics just stick it to the defending champion Miami Heat? With a game winning 3?! In their own building?!?!?!

 

Yes!! Yes, sportsfans...this really happened! After continuous (and mostly negative) comparisons to Paul Pierce as in "Jesus, Jeff...you're the new Paul Pierce, for Christ's sake!! You have to start being our go-to guy!!", Mean Jeff Green threw up the middle finger to haters everywhere and sank the game winner right in LeBron's face!

With the Celtics down two following a classic tank job at the free-throw line by Dwyane Wade who missed two freebies that would have iced the game for the Heat, Jeff Green raised up, up, up over LeBron's outstretched arms and calmly made like M.C. Hammer, not only saying "You Can't Touch This" to South Beach's Number 6, but proving that he was "2 Legit To Quit." Okay, even I know how bad that last sentence was, but what can I say? I'm still delirious from passing out after "The Shot" happened.

But, as much as I would love to continue talking about that incredible and unexpected win, I wanted to do something a little bit different. Sure, other blogs and sports sites will show you photos like the ones above that display in full glory the afterglow of the win, but I'd like to bring fans the stories behind the story.

 

And, what I am about to reveal could change the way we look at the National Basketball Association forever.

 

Without further ado...the win in pictures.

  

While others looked at the series of photos above and reveled at the sight of Jeff Green floating as his shot found its way across the arena and through the basket, I took a closer look at the photos to reveal the truth (No, not THAT Truth...though Jay Gee certainly seemed to be channeling his inner Captain).

 

God favors the Boston Celtics. I know, I know...but read on...if you dare.

 

As the shot went up, this Miami-based Celtics fan put in a special request with the man upstairs...

 

And, as we all know very well, the Miami Heat represent the Devil...I mean, come on...as if the red uniforms, flame at the tip of the "T" in "Heat" (which, by the way, resembles a pitchfork with missing prongs), and the reference to the more-than-balmy temperatures down under the down under didn't already give it away, you have LeBron, Wade, Bosh AND Battier on the same team? And, Chalmers...don't EVEN get me started with Chalmers!

Anyway, in this battle of good vs. evil, clearly, God won this round. Just look at how the Devil's minions reacted to the sight of pure goodness as it flooded the arena...

Many of them appeared to feel the light of righteousness entering through their heads.

 

It was apparently too much for this guy, as he began to head for the exit even as the ball soared to its glorious destiny...

 

 

Say what you will about Miami fans, though (and there IS plenty to say!) they sure do know their famous paintings. Several of them chose to deal with their pain by emulating a well-known Edvard Munch work of art...

 

Scream 1

Scream 2

Clearly, though...this one really put a hurt on Heat fans right where it counts...

 

...and, ultimately, good didst triumph over evil.

The End.

Box Score

Tale of THE SHOT

Post Position: Celtics' Newest "Pole Cats" Key To Any Success In 2013-14

It's no mistake that the two most recent additions to the picture posts in the lobby of North Station at the Garden are also two of the longer tenured players on the roster. It's also no accident that they happen to play the same positions as the two Hall-of-Famers whose shoes they’re about to step into now that they’ve gone cookin’ for Brooklyn.

But, as exciting as it might be for friends, fans and family members of Jeff Green and Brandon Bass to see these guys sharing facetime with the team's one true All-Star, point guard Rajon Rondo along with Avery Bradley and Jared Sullinger (another more recent "pole player" and another key ingredient in the C's kitchen this year), their actual significance to the team and any hopes it may have of an even moderately successful year can't be overstated.

For many, the natural inclination is to say that Green is the new Pierce, and as far as filling the open small forward position, this would be accurate. And he will, indeed, be asked to shoulder some of the load that Pierce once carried. But, fans shouldn't be expecting “The Truth 2.0” or even “Truth-Lite,” or anything resembling the Swiss Army Knife that was Pierce for so many years "giving the game what it needs" whether it was scoring 41 against LeBron in a mano-a-mano Playoff duel or posting multiple triple-doubles in point-forward mode in Rondo's absence.

Well, okay...he's got the "scoring 41 against LeBron" thing handled just fine and then some, but he’s never carried a team for an extended period in any season of his short career and expectations that he fill the sizable chasm of leadership that now exists behind Rondo are not only wrongheaded but just plain unfair. There is only one Paul Pierce (as it will undoubtedly take until his induction into the Hall of Fame for casual fans to fully appreciate) and Green is clearly not cut from the same cloth – but, then, few people are.

What he IS is a hyper-athletic 6" 9' forward that is as comfortable in the low post as he is slashing in from the wing and banging one off some hapless defender's dome or popping threes from the corner. He is an underrated defender and has increasingly shown a willingness to pick up his aggression on offense and, as Garnett once implored him, "be an @$hole." With an even larger role to play and a quicker team to play it with, Green can now thrive in the open court and take more shots in an offense in which he is no longer third and sometimes even fourth fiddle while not having to carry the total scoring burden in the way that Pierce was often forced to with Garnett resting on the bench – especially after Ray Allen took his talents to South Beach.

Brandon Bass is the other key that will determine whether the Celtics sink to the level that experts have been projecting or whether they rise above expectations, particularly with Rondo on the sidelines for a portion of the season and Garnett and his Big D down the road and out of town.

While no one will ever be confusing Bass with The Big Ticket, he has an uncannily similar midrange game (though not quite as consistent), is also unafraid to put his head down and plow to the hoop for a power-flush, and is an above-average defender. In fact, his “D” is vastly underappreciated by most average NBA fans and announcers alike. Just look at the variety of stories written by a heap of knowledgeable voices about both his prowess according to Synergistics (not that I buy into that sort of thing) and about how he is now using his massive 6-foot-9, 250-pound body to try and plug the defensive leadership breach for the team.

One need look no further than his defense against Carmelo Anthony – one of the League’s premier scorers, in case your head has been cryogenically frozen for the past ten years – during the Celtics v. Knicks series in last year’s Playoffs to see what he is capable of.

I know that Bass fell out of favor with a lot of fairweather fans last year as he struggled to regain his footing after Doc Rivers employed a revolving door for his power forwards, alternately starting Bass, then Sullinger, then Bass again when Sullinger went down for the season. While the argument has been made that NBA players are professionals and should be able to handle being shuffled in and out of the lineup with their ego and confidence intact, I challenge readers to honestly consider how well they’d adjust to being “benched” by their boss in favor of that young go-getter from [insert department here] and then being asked to take over for him only after he goes out on sick leave for the year.

Yes, Bass should technically have been able to adjust to the adversity and come to play when his name was called (jeez…I just completed the trifecta of modern sports clichés!), but it seemed clear that his brain was a little scrambled by the process and it took him a while to straighten himself out – not coincidentally around the same time that his main competition for the position was cleared out of the way for the season.

Ultimately, it’s about the team and the sum of its parts, whether Coach Brad Stevens can adjust quickly to the pro game and whether Rondo comes back before the All-Star break – both physically AND mentally. But, for the team to defy the haters and prognosticators, it will be the actions of Uncle Jeff and B Bass that determine whether the Celtics will be stuck under water or if they’re able to stick their heads up and catch a breath or two.

Late To Their Own Funeral: Celtics Never Say Die Attitude Kills Knicks

 

Attention K-Mart shoppers...we are all out of funeral black clothing. Shoppers are advised to put on their regular clothes, shut the f**k up and play ball.

 

Holy Apples!!! I can't even put into words how fantasmic this win by the Green was.

From Kenyon Martin and Co. wearing black to what turned out to be their own funeral; to J.R. (no-shot's-too-far) Smith talking his way into an excremental shooting night to the doomsday pundits all having to give respect to the never-say-die Celtics after doing everything in their journalistic (I say this tongue-in-cheek) powers to help shovel the dirt on Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and the C's WAY prematurely. And even with all of THAT, the Knicks had the nerve to try and smacktalk the C's at the end of the game after getting served by them and thus providing their opponents with even more fuel to want to serve them even harder back in Boston (yeah, I know they say Jordan Crawford started it, but I watched the tape)! As the dearly departed 2-Pacalyptic one would say (even though he was born in the NYC) "Throw up the middle finger."

From Smith's punk-@$$ elbow to Jason Terry's face to his subsequent bullsh*t "I don't even know who I elbowed," to his laughably idiotic "If I played it would have been over" lead-in to a 3 for 14 crapfest of a game and then Martin's chalkboard choke telling his boys to "dress for a funeral" before not only eating his words and his feet, but eating his teammates as well who all followed dimwittedly along and dressed in black.

And...while I'm not buying the idea that's floating around out there that the Knicks "funeral" blunder was a calculated attempt to disrespect the City of Boston and its recent tragedies, I think the Knicks (K-Mart in particular) are a bunch of typically egotistical, self-centered and spoiled athletes who don't think past the tip of their own noses when they say anything not filtered by a publicist. They may not be malicious, but they sure are DUMB. It's almost as if they wanted the Celtics to come out with fire in their eyes. Well, mission accomplished.

The Snickerbockers unintended self-immolation may have been just what the Celtics needed to push them over the edge to play together against a common enemy, but it also speaks to a larger problem for New York moving forward, both in this series and later, if they escape the wrath of the C's.

It is exactly this kind of empty "Big City" hubris that reveals just how not-ready-for-primetime this squad is. I'm not saying that they're going to fold up and hide faster than a New York street vendor during a cop convention and lose to our beloved Celtics (which they very well might, though he odds are with them...for now), but it's clear that all of this self-distraction proves that they've got some serious growing up to do and, under the John Starks stark and unforgiving spotlight of the Playoffs, that learning curve can be VERY steep. Just ask LeBron and his Heat.

I'm sure I don't even have to mention the pyrotechnics and confetti and the "not one championship, not two, not three..." embarrassment that preceded the first season of LeBrash and Friends and we all know how that season ended up. This year? They came into the Playoffs and quickly, quietly and efficiently finished off the Milwaukee Bucks. You have heard nothing from them as they wait for the winner of the Chicago Bulls/Brooklyn Nets series. Not a peep. That's called maturity, something that these Knicks are still searching for. Hopefully they'll have plenty of time to search for it after Sunday.

As for the Celtics? Well...I think I'll just say it in pictures...

Brandon Bass has been a force on both the offensive end...

 

...and the defensive end guarding Carmelo.

 

Kevin Garnett has been nothing short of a revelation,

posting 4 consecutive double-doubles.

Captain Paul Pierce had started this series slowly, but he has come on of late to lead the team as the "point forward" filling in for the injured Rajon Rondo and still providing ample points (and just about everything else).

He does, however, have to begin respecting

the defense of Houseparty 2 Iman Shumpert.

 

Jeff Green has begun to fulfill some of the promise he came to Boston with in the Kendrick Perkins trade with OKC. His heart and recent aggression have been key to the C's attack.

 

 

Bench players like Terrence Williams have proven to

be valuable playoff assets, both on offense...

 

 

...and defense.

 

And there are a whooooole lot of other factors contributing to this team's resurgence, but with any luck...we'll get to those.

 

Box Score

 

Tale Of The Tape

 

THE BUZZ:

 

NBA Eastern Conference Playoffs --

Round 1, Game 6:

Celtics vs. Knicks

Friday, May 3rd, 2013

@ The Boston Garden

Boston, MA

 

"Kevin Garnett: Straight-Up Nuts Or Crazy Like A Boxer?" or "Deep Impact: Kevin Garnett Pioneers Trend Down Low"

I don't know about you guys, but I love watching the copycats come meowing out of the alleyways when someone popular or influential does something that gets noticed, and then everybody tries to follow their lead acting as if they were the ones who originated "The Cool."

Well, I'm here to make sure that one of my favorite players and one of the greatest Celtics of all-time gets his proper due as the winner, trendsetter and creative genius that he is.

Kevin Garnett has long been recognized as one of those true superstars of the game who come along only once in a blue (and green?) moon and do SO many things in such a way that they become prototypical for players at their position for years to come. He's redefined the job specs for Power Forwards in the League, infusing the spot with a versatility and ferocious brand of defense heretofore unseen in such a lean, mean package. And now, as he has been for the past couple of years, KG is on a mission to try and conquor the Center position as well, even at the (by NBA standards) advanced age of 36.

Standing now on the precipice of yet another defining moment, the proper kudos should be given to KG for the latest in-game fad that, while he didn't exactly introduce it to the League, has garnered its share of attention as others have begun utilizing it with the kind of flair and confidence that could only have been nurtured by watching a star of KG's caliber execute it to perfection.

But, what is this painfully primal practice to which I am referring? Why, I'm talking about that timeless crunching classic, that surefire shot, that tried-and-true tapper so popular that it has not only propelled the program America's Funniest Home Videos to the pinnacle of pugilistic pageantry making them the grand high kings of comedic culture, it has also enabled them to celebrate an amazing (and some might say agonizingly achieved) milestone (more on this later) recently. I speak, of course, about the act and the art of hitting, slapping or punching another human male "where the sun don't usually shine."

The art of the Nutcracker -- or Junkshot, if you will -- has made a crushing comeback on NBA courts around the country this season and, if this lake is traced back directly to its tributary, one can only end their noble journey at the feet (and hand) of that Celtic trailblazer (now THAT'S an oxymoron if I ever heard one!) The Big Ticket himself. Or had you forgotten his magnificent marble masher against Phoenix Sun Chandler Frye back in 2011?

Now, I know what some of you are thinking: "If Garnett is such a trendsetter, why did it take so long for the 'Sack Snap' -- or Oyster Shooter, if you will -- to catch on?" My answer to you is: "I. Don't. Know."

The best that I can assume is that, like many transformative trends, it took a while to catch fire, much as the hot of-the-moment fashions of Paris eventually find their way to Los Angeles and New York months later (and to the middle states a few years after that); like old sitcoms -- "Everybody Loves Raymond," for instance -- that trickle over time to the likes of Sweden years later as "Alla älskar Raymond" or something of that nature, so, too does the inherent genius of a player of Garnett's ilk take its time to marinate and flavor the NBA like a nice, juicy steak.

Scoff you may, but this ball-busting trend seems to be swelling by the day. Remember this special Christmas delivery from DeMarcus Cousins to O.J. Mayo back in December?

And, most recently, taking the trend to a new high...er, low...shot-blocker turned *ock-socker Serge Ibaka of the Oklahoma City Thunder practiced against the privates of the league's top ball-slammer Blake Griffin of the Los Angeles Clippers:

The NBA has fined Oklahoma City’s Serge Ibaka $25,000 for striking Blake Griffin of the Los Angeles Clippers in the groin area.

The incident, which was called a Flagrant Foul 1 on the floor and upgraded to a Flagrant Foul 2 upon league office review, occurred with 1:52 remaining in the fourth quarter of the Thunder’s 108-104 win over the Clippers on Sunday, March 3 at Staples Center.

The announcement was made by Stu Jackson, NBA Executive Vice President, Basketball Operations.

-- HoopsWorld.com

Ouch.

In fact, this trend is becoming such a hit that some of the game's most notorious...ahhh...ball-busters are lamenting the fact that they're perhaps too late to the party:

Now, you KNOW that if a guy like Matt Barnes wishes he could do it, it MUST be bad@$$!

And, just think about the marketing possibilities that abound for players if the "Whack-A-Sack" becomes a signature move in the NBA: protective groin cups will make a comeback, opening up yet another revenue stream for endorsement-hungry players -- "Hi, my name is LeBron James and I'm a professional basketball player for the Miami Heat. I'm committed to helping my team win not just one Championship, so I don't have time to be laying on the court tucked into the fetal position crying like a little b*tch after some lower-level @$$hole takes a swipe at the 'Little King.' That's why I wear (insert cool new protective groin cup company here)."

Maybe they can turn those hot magnetic bracelets into a waist chain that helps build a force field that protects "what lies beneath," or on the offensive side, maybe they can sell wrist workout tapes designed to help you build the strength and stamina needed to pull off the proper "*ick flick." Back again to prevention, maybe they could market a new kind of "Icy Hot" geared specifically for the nether-region that renders the vulnerable area sensation-free in the event of a "Sack Attack." This may even come in handy for many players who tend to -- how should we say? -- "give the fans what they want" which can sometimes lead to a severe case of "brain strain," if you will.

But, of course, just as any popular trend will tend to produce scores of supporters, so too, do they attract members of the "No-Fun Brigade" who are always eager to step up to try and throw a cold, wet blanket over the entire proceeding:

I guess, in the end, it's probably for the best. After all, as the saying goes, the best are often imitated but never duplicated and I firmly believe that none of these "Weed Wackers," if you will, will ever be able to hold a candle to a true original like KG. Besides, if the NBA "Number Crunchers," if you will, keep going at this clip, guys like Tom Bergeron -- host of the above referenced America's Funniest Home Videos -- will eventually have nowhere to store all of that footage...

While he, of course, noted with a laugh that in the 500^th episode “they’ll be a lot more people falling down and doing ridiculous things,” Bergeron also revealed there would be another milestone for the show that same night: the 1,000,000 groin shot.

No, perhaps we should just put this topic on ice, let the burning questions cool and recede after one last hand for Kevin Garnett, and take the knee on this one...

Celtics Contemplate Life Without Rondo After Icing The Heat: 100-98

At long last...

{A series of unfortunate events have conspired to prevent me from getting this story posted, but as such, I've had the benefit of letting the dust settle a bit since Sunday's "Bag Of Dead Cats" announcement concerning the Celtics most mercurial leader.}

GIF by @jose3030

Lets get the obvious out of the way early (well, early in this post, anyway), okay? The Celtics are going to miss Rajon Rondo in a big way...no two ways about it. He is a superstar hitting his prime on a team with two game-but-aging veterans and a collection of talent that have undoubtedly benefitted from his abilities, leadership and drive.

What the Celtics do from here to try and mitigate his absence and my layman's opinion/prediction about their success? Well...lets deal with that a little bit later in the post. First, I want to start by celebrating the C's resilience in bouncing back against the Champion Miami Heat.

The recap, as old as it may now seem:
In what was truly an entertaining matchup of Eastern Conference Contenders (yes, I'm among the other Greenheadz who are not taking the easy "C's are dead without Rondo" bailout), the Celtics not only held their own, they up and snatched Miami's as well. Despite the circus atmosphere attributable to "The Return Of Ray Allen" and the loss of Rondo (originally scratched from the lineup due, it was believed, to a balky hamstring), the Celtics were able to chuckle in adversity's grill with a display of such defensive fortitude and offensive firepower that one can only call it by its proper name: Celtic Pride.


Paul Pierce assumed his default position in all cases of Rondolessness -- the Point Forward -- and responded with his first triple-double in three years (though he HAS achieved 8 of 'em throughout a storied career), Kevin Garnett took another dip in the Cocoon tide-pool (to be fair, his entire season has been Cocoon-esque), and the C's got strong offensive contributions from Jeff Green (who also defended the Hell out of LeBron James -- 34-point outburst not withstanding), Jason Terry, Leandro Barbosa, Avery Bradley and Jared Sullinger. Courtney Lee provided needed ballhandling and defense and the Celtics battled through two overtimes before wresting the game from the defending champs.

Pierce's contribution of 17 points, 13 rebounds, 10 assists, 1 steal and 1 block was especially sweet as some of his damage was inflicted against a spry Ray Allen; and Garnett's 24 points, 11 boards, 4 assists, 2 steals and 3 blocks was straight out of his 2008 "Playbook of Dominance."


Oh, and that Allen guy? he scored 21 points on 7-17 shooting. Chris Bosh (the only member of Miami's "large four" to shoot 50% or above with a line of 7-12) was a problem with 16 points, 16 rebounds and a block; and Dwyane Wade scored 17 points on 6-20 shooting to go with 7 assists, 4 rebounds, 2 steals and 1 block; while LeBron got his final score by throwing up 31 shots (making 14), and added 16 rebounds 7 assists, 3 steals and 1 block.

But, for all their scoring and rebounding, the Heat as a team were still out-assisted (even in Rondo's absence!), outsmarted (21 turnovers to the C's 17), and -- in the end -- outscored.

Box Score

Tale Of The Tape

Now...about the Celtics and the first day of the rest of their collective L.W.R. (Life Without Rondo)...

Many, many and by many I mean MANY sportswriters, pundits, bloggers, coaches and players have offered their myriad opinions about what the loss of Rondo means and what the Celtics should do moving forward.

Two of the better articles that have been written to date about the subject come by way of Chad Finn of the Boston Globe's "Touching All The Bases" column, who had one of the most cogent if not sentimental articles that deal with the realities of the team trying to make its way without Rondo and the plea not to trade Pierce, and the other was written by Zach Lowe of Grantland.com who presents a staggering array of trade scenarios that the Celtics are either rumored to be considering or are considered to be rumors they should be considering.


There have been reports of rumors of gossipped hearsay that has Kyle Lowrey coming in and Lee going out...Delonte West coming back, looking for Agent Zero to be a hero, a countdown to Keyon Dooling (no fooling!), a Jose Calderon to call our own and Pierce going everywhere from Memphis to LA to Moscow for Rudy Gay, Marcia Gay Harden and the greatest hits of Marvin Gaye.

As for what I think...well, if you've been to this blog before, you know that I come from that familiar but rapidly dwindling species: the Loyal and Eternal Optimist. I think the C's should do nothing more than keep what they have and add to the crew with free agency to fill the open slots that were created with the cuts of Kris Joseph and Jarvis Varnado and possibly utilize an injury exception -- if the C's apply and the League grants it.

But, I'll save the speculation for another day...for me, it's too soon in the wake of the Rondoldroms setting in. Maybe a little time and a Kings game in between will suffice. Maybe...

Still, without even waiting to see what the Celtics elect to do...some of you Chicken Little types have already sounded the death knell on Season 2012-2013. That's fine...you can do that if you want...whatever gets you through the night...

But, me? I'm standing with Doc...I refuse to pronounce this team deceased at 1:35 p.m. on Sunday, January 27th, 2013 -- cause of death: L.O.R. (Loss of Rondo).

 

No. Instead, I'm going to watch this team and see how they respond, whether they struggle and achieve in the face if adversity or they use the loss as an excuse and fold tents for the rest of the year and effectively end the "New Big Three Era" as we've come to know it.

I'm betting on the achievement in the face of adversity thing. But, then again, what do I know? I'm just one in a handful of Loyal Eternal Optimist Greenheadz.