Monday, October 7, 2013

Celtics Begin "Little One" Era As Preseason Kicks Off

That’s right, folks…the Boyz in green are back in town and ready to get down – preseason style, of course! While many (most?) of Boston’s sports-loving faithful are busy simultaneously watching the Red Sox mount their assault on the postseason and march toward another inevitable World Series showdown, lamenting the Patriots loss to the Cincinatti Tigers Bengals or are cheering the boys in black and gold as the Bruins start the season trying to recapture their winning form from last year’s disappointing trip to the Stanley Cup Finals, the Celtics have been busy preparing to start their first season in fifteen years without The Truth to set them free.
Recap: Pierce, KG and Doc are gone. Deal with it.

So, as we all dust off our old Antoine Walker jerseys and pretend we were Jeff Green fans from the git, here are just a few of the questions floating around the ether that we’ll begin to gain some resolution on.

So, in a tip of the cap to the chaos that will inevitably reign for at least the first couple of months of the C’s 2013-14 season, I replace that time-honored tradition that time-honored traditionalists like to post before their favorite teams head into battle – “What To Watch For” – with the more appropriate “What’s NOT To Watch For?!?”

As the Celtics start the preseason tonight at 7:30 PM against the much improved (but, really, who’s NOT improved this year besides the Celtics?) Toronto Raptors, here are some of the endless questions that we may begin to see the first grains of resolution for:  

·         What will the Celtics be like in a post-aPaulycliptic world?
·         Who is this Brad Stevens fellow, and does he speak Ubuntu?
·         Is Jared Sullinger fully healed from his back surgery, and should we even care following his recent domestic violence arrest?
·         Is Kelly “The KO Kid” Olynyk for real?
·         Will Brandon Bass make us forget Kevin Garnett (sorry…just had to check and see if you were paying attention)
·         Can Courtney Lee make us forget about E’twaun Moore, JaJuan Johnson and Sean Williams? (okay, that was just unfair…)
·         Is “El Hombre Indestructible” Vitor Faverani really indestructible?
·         Can Jeff Green continue to “act like an @$$hole and lead the Celtics?
·         Will Kris Humphries be more than just a pretty face with an ugly reality show stint?
·        Will Jordan Crawford settle down or will he forever be a castmember of "Guards Gone Wild?"
·         Do we FINALLY have a true backup point guard in Phil Pressey?
·         Can Gerald Wallace find the fountain of youth and “Crash” the Celtics’ lineup, or is he just playing out the string until the trade deadline lets him off the hook?
·         Can Avery Bradley silence the critics by making defenses pay with the jumpshot, dish and dribble while continuing to ensure that his opponents don’t return the favor?
·        Can Marshon Brooks realize some of the great potential he showcased as a Nets rookie?

·         Will Rondo be back before the All-Star break? And will the so-called “experts" ever stop monotonously suggesting that he must be traded?

·         What the Hell happened to Donny Marshall?

·         Will new broadcaster Danny Ainge say anything bad about the General Manager and get himself suspended?

·         How long will it be before Keith Bogans tires of the rebuild and chokes someone out Leandro Barbosa-style?

These and other breathless questions await…the journey of discovery begins tonight! Tune in to Comcast Sportsnet tonight at 7:30! Why am I yelling?!!? It's pre-season!!!

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