Monday, August 19, 2013

Meet Ray Felton: Member Of The New York WhinyBabies

So, Ray Felton of the New York Knicks is bent out of shape about the preseason predictions of a certain sports media empire located in Bristol Connecticut? Somebody get this guy some warm milk, footie pajamas and a reassuring hug, STAT!

Seriously, Ray?

At least Kobe Bryant had the sense to give his team's lowered expectations the royal "Harhummmph!" and move on. And HE's got a problem or two to contend with that you and your mates don't.

Kobe's completely dysfunctional and disjointed team imploded well before he ever blew a tire and ended his season. Then, his team lost their franchise supersized summer rental after he beat town following a constant barrage of negative comments from teammates, fans and media alike. In his Felton-short time in L.A., Dwight Howard was constantly berated and belittled by Kobe (okay, the incessantly immature Dwight Howard clearly deserved those size 14 "Black Mambas" up his @$$, I won't argue that...), even as he dealt with a nagging shoulder injury for much of the season. Add to that the uncertainty around a rapidly degenerating Steve Nash, Cottonelle center Pau Gasol and the aforementioned Achilles tendon injury and your problems seem to disappear faster than a New York Minute in comparison.

And, yet...even still...the Lakers look to be potentially more competitive than your notch-above-borderline-mediocre squad. They've added some interesting pieces in the wake of the L.A. Dwightmare to the point that you have to think a healthy Kobe Bryant (as much as it may pain me to say so) might be able to drag them to the postseason and make some modest noise.

So, you think your team is entitled to a higher ranking than #5 on the completely speculative and meaningless preseason "Predictometer?"

Ray....Ray, Ray, Ray...

It took your team six games to win a first round matchup with a Boston team leaning hard on two "old" stars in the absence of its best and most critical Playoff performer in Rajon Rondo -- not to mention being saddled with a gaggle of other injuries to important players like rookie phenom Jared Sullinger and sparkplug Leandro Barbosa! And then you went down in the second round with just two wins to show for it! want to be slotted for the Finals now that you have the ancient Metta World Peace Ron Artest eating up a roster spot? Are you (rhymes with "trucking") kidding me?!?!

You want angst? Try having your general manager take a keg of dynamite to your team and losing two Hall Of Fame players in the process to make way for a full rebuild and then tell me about how unfair it all is. Granted, it had to happen and really, I'm doing quite well with it all now...(happy place...happy place...), but...still.

And, since we're talking about Felton and his New York WhinyBabies...

He recently spoke to that very same mega sports network that rhymes with "We Guess The End," and spent the majority of this other interview trying to convince everyone that he doesn't care about Paul Pierce's statement calling for the Nets to begin running New York.

Memba Dis?!!

Here's a little piece of his ardent indifference:
"They will never take over the city. Because we've got 'New York' on our chest," Felton said Sunday. "They've got 'Brooklyn' on their chest, and we've got 'New York.' They'll never take over the city." 
"He's just trying to talk, talk, talk, to fuel the rivalry, which is good. I love it," said Felton, who laughed when asked about Pierce's comments. "I think it's good for us, it's good for the whole state, it's good. So, whatever -- I love it." 
But, then...
"I don't really pay no attention to what Paul is saying," added Felton, who was at St. John's University at a clinic for Big Brothers Big Sisters of New York City. "I hear about it, but I don't pay it no attention. It's all fun and games to me."
So, which is it, Ray? Are you actively challenging and being deeply offended by Pierce's assertion that the Nets will run New York? Do you think that it's a good thing and all it is, is The Truth being The Truth? Or do you not pay it any mind at all?

You know what I think, Ray? I think you have no idea what the (rhymes with "duck") you're talking about. And, you sound pretty dazed and confused, so -- barring your ingestion of actual mind altering substances -- you may be in need of some kind of attention, medical or otherwise.

I think I'm going to call you a wambulance.

You're welcome.

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