Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The Top Ten Things The Celtics Need To Do To Win This Series

Hi, Folks.

Initially, I had intended to do this post earlier and get more in-depth, but because we're less than an hour away from tipoff to Game 5, I am just going to throw this off as a true "Top-Ten" list and perhaps flesh everything out when (not "if") the C's win in New York tonight.

So, without Freddy Adu Further Ado...

The Top-Ten Things The Celtics Must Do To Win This Series

10- You can't handle the truth, but The Truth MUST handle the ball -- put the ball back in Paul Pierce's able hands. I know he's had fumbleitis. Don't worry about it. Letting Avery Bradley be the point guard will help nail our coffin shut.

9- Da Do Run Run -- Get out and run. It's that simple. Advance the ball with the pass and everybody take off to the races. You CAN run in the Playoffs. Just ask the Celtics and Lakers of 1986.

8- Pass Me The Damn Ball -- Or should I say, pass each other the damn ball. The way that the Celtics were able to win the games after Rajon Rondo went down for the season was by playing a freestyle passing game that was more improvisational Hippie Ball than set plays. Pass it and you pass on through to the next series. And, if there's no good pass to be made...

7- Hold On! -- Do NOT turn the ball over. If there's nothing there, hold the ball and work short passes side to side. No more crosscourt, no more lackadaisical lobs...guard the ball with your Playoff lives!

6- The New Adventures Of Young Jeff Green -- Paul Pierce is the new Rondo. Jeff Green is the new Paul Pierce. Kevin Garnett? Just be you, big guy. Look, our only hope is with Paul Pierce at the Point-Forward position. He's found ample ways to score from that spot since back in February, so don't sweat it. Green? You do what Paul used to do: attack the basket on cuts and drives and spot up when it's open. You're the new "go-to" player. Get used to it. NOW.

5- You Don't Mess With The Zohan -- And by Zohan, I mean the lineup. Doc...I KNOW you always want to tinker with things in the Playoffs. Don't. The lineup you started last game is the one we had during the season and is also, coincidentally, the best chance we have at winning this thing. Save for injury...LEAVE THEM BE.

4- You Can't Have A Strong Bench If You Don't Play One -- Stop with this nonsense of shortening the Playoff rotations. If a guy can help and he's on the bench...PLAY HIM! If they aren't producing, get 'em outta there. But for Pistol Pete's Sake, let the Courtney Lee's and Terrence Williams' of the world try and stop the J.R. Smith's. They're built for games like these. Remember how you used to like to guarantee that so-and-so "was going to win this game for us?" As the old Lottery saying goes, "you can't win if you don't play."

3- Hip Hop Is Dead. So Is The Halfcourt Offense -- If you're looking for our halfcourt game, the entire thing is sitting on the bench nattily attired in an orange blazer and sweater combo. Rondo is the beginning and end of any thought of a memory of a dream of a halfcourt offense. DO NOT TRY TO RUN ONE...WE DON'T HAVE ONE!

2- Carmelo Rhymes With "Fellow" -- As in, "a singular fellow" meaining one guy. This is how we should play him. DO NOT DOUBLE TEAM MELO!! If you do one thing, Celtics, it is this. He's going to take his shots. If he scores 70, WHOOPEE!! We'll win by 25. Guard him with single coverage and let him have a ball shooting. A) he's going to miss his fair share as we've seen and B) nobody else is involved in the offense. Not J.R., not Houseparty 2 Shumpert, not Discount Double Check Novak, not Thanksgiving Felton...nobody. The Knicks can't win with only Melo taking shots. Need I remind you about that famous "world's best scorer ever in history" who scored 63 all by his lonesome against the '86 Celtics and lost the game and the series? Single coverage. If I am the coach and I see a double team, I'm going to list item #4 and you're hitting the bench, son.

1- Have fun out there. Look, I know when your basketball lives are hanging in the balance, the last thing you want to do is smile and pat each other on the back. But I promise you, a game well played is played with love of the game. Enjoy each other out could be the last time you do it with this group of guys.

That's it, folks. Oh, wait! I forgot one last thing...

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