Meet Ray Felton: Member Of The New York WhinyBabies

So, Ray Felton of the New York Knicks is bent out of shape about the preseason predictions of a certain sports media empire located in Bristol Connecticut? Somebody get this guy some warm milk, footie pajamas and a reassuring hug, STAT!

Seriously, Ray?

At least Kobe Bryant had the sense to give his team's lowered expectations the royal "Harhummmph!" and move on. And HE's got a problem or two to contend with that you and your mates don't.

Kobe's completely dysfunctional and disjointed team imploded well before he ever blew a tire and ended his season. Then, his team lost their franchise supersized summer rental after he beat town following a constant barrage of negative comments from teammates, fans and media alike. In his Felton-short time in L.A., Dwight Howard was constantly berated and belittled by Kobe (okay, the incessantly immature Dwight Howard clearly deserved those size 14 "Black Mambas" up his @$$, I won't argue that...), even as he dealt with a nagging shoulder injury for much of the season. Add to that the uncertainty around a rapidly degenerating Steve Nash, Cottonelle center Pau Gasol and the aforementioned Achilles tendon injury and your problems seem to disappear faster than a New York Minute in comparison.

 
And, yet...even still...the Lakers look to be potentially more competitive than your notch-above-borderline-mediocre squad. They've added some interesting pieces in the wake of the L.A. Dwightmare to the point that you have to think a healthy Kobe Bryant (as much as it may pain me to say so) might be able to drag them to the postseason and make some modest noise.

So, you think your team is entitled to a higher ranking than #5 on the completely speculative and meaningless preseason "Predictometer?"

Ray....Ray, Ray, Ray...

It took your team six games to win a first round matchup with a Boston team leaning hard on two "old" stars in the absence of its best and most critical Playoff performer in Rajon Rondo -- not to mention being saddled with a gaggle of other injuries to important players like rookie phenom Jared Sullinger and sparkplug Leandro Barbosa! And then you went down in the second round with just two wins to show for it!

So...what....you want to be slotted for the Finals now that you have the ancient Metta World Peace Ron Artest eating up a roster spot? Are you (rhymes with "trucking") kidding me?!?!

You want angst? Try having your general manager take a keg of dynamite to your team and losing two Hall Of Fame players in the process to make way for a full rebuild and then tell me about how unfair it all is. Granted, it had to happen and really, I'm doing quite well with it all now...(happy place...happy place...), but...still.

And, since we're talking about Felton and his New York WhinyBabies...

He recently spoke to that very same mega sports network that rhymes with "We Guess The End," and spent the majority of this other interview trying to convince everyone that he doesn't care about Paul Pierce's statement calling for the Nets to begin running New York.

Memba Dis?!!

Here's a little piece of his ardent indifference:

"They will never take over the city. Because we've got 'New York' on our chest," Felton said Sunday. "They've got 'Brooklyn' on their chest, and we've got 'New York.' They'll never take over the city." 

And...

"He's just trying to talk, talk, talk, to fuel the rivalry, which is good. I love it," said Felton, who laughed when asked about Pierce's comments. "I think it's good for us, it's good for the whole state, it's good. So, whatever -- I love it." 

But, then...

"I don't really pay no attention to what Paul is saying," added Felton, who was at St. John's University at a clinic for Big Brothers Big Sisters of New York City. "I hear about it, but I don't pay it no attention. It's all fun and games to me."

So, which is it, Ray? Are you actively challenging and being deeply offended by Pierce's assertion that the Nets will run New York? Do you think that it's a good thing and all it is, is The Truth being The Truth? Or do you not pay it any mind at all?

You know what I think, Ray? I think you have no idea what the (rhymes with "duck") you're talking about. And, you sound pretty dazed and confused, so -- barring your ingestion of actual mind altering substances -- you may be in need of some kind of attention, medical or otherwise.

I think I'm going to call you a wambulance.

You're welcome.

Paul Pierce: "It's Time For Us To Start Running This City."

Yeah, this is a really nice article about the adjustment of the two "artists formerly known as Celtics," Paul Pierce (mostly) and Kevin Garnett adjusting to their new home and accepting their status as Brooklyn's Finest. It's also another opportunity to stalk these guys like an obsessed ex-boyfriend/girlfriend ("what did she do NOW? Did she say anything about me??") until I've fully moved on when the season starts (yeah...sure...).

But, what really excited me about this article was Paul Pierce in full "I'm the best shooter in the NBA" Truthmode and talking smack about the team that he really loves to stick it to.

You hear that, New York? There's a new group of Sheriffs in town and they're comin' to bring you to justice!

------<sigh...why can't we get players like that?>------

Hello, Crooklyn!: New York Pulls Hall-Of-Fame Heist As Celtics Press Reset Button

And so, the die is cast...

The move that some have been clamoring for the past few years; the change that others have been fearing and railing against; the inevitable final wrap to the thrilling show that was "The New Big Three Era" has faded to black...Brooklyn black (and white).

I still haven't completely wrapped my mind around the idea that Paul Pierce...The Truth...is bringing his game (if you thought I was gonna say "taking his talents," you're in the wrong area code, buddy!) to Brooklyn along with honorary lifelong Celtic Kevin Garnett and unfortunate tattoo victim Jason Terry.

Calling all New Jersey area tatt artists...start practicing the conversion of a leprechaun to this:

Seriously, though...I'm not going to make this a long post (Yeah, right! You wish!) full of wistful memories about The Captain, 2008, or The Big Ticket or even the decommissioned old Jet. There have been more than enough of those pieces from other sports reporters, bloggers, family members and friends, news reporters trying their hand at sensitive sports esoterica, man-in-the-street reaction (sigh...Brooklyn "fans"), sad pets (no, seriously....)

...and much of it has been either exactly what I would have said or would have wanted to say.

So, briefly, here are a few random thoughts that I wanted to throw out into the wind and watch them drift and fade into the dirt of the new Celtics foundation:

* I Am Really Happy For Paul And Kevin (And Jet, Too): No, really...I am. And, just to prove it, I'm gonna recite a really sappy line that I believe rather appropriate to this situation -- "If you love something, set it free. If it returns to you, then it was meant to be." It's no secret for those five of you who have read this blog (okay, I was stretching...two...thanks again Mom and Dad!) that Paul Pierce is my religion and the Boston Garden is the house of worship. But, when the trade was announced, I kind of felt relief. Relief because, as much as I wanted The Truth to have only ever worn the green upon retirement, I saw how much he and KG struggled to pull the C's along against New York and I really didn't want to watch it get a little worse each year until they retired broken and dispirited.

No, like any healthy end to a relationship this serious and committed, I wanted Paul to be able to walk away in good shape, take on his new life unafraid of trusting another team again, and find that special thing that makes him happy (Woah!! I have GOT to stop watching the Hallmark Channel with my girlfriend IMMEDIATELY!!).

My point being, Pierce and KG want the opportunity to play for another championship. They deserve that chance. They were robbed at least twice from having it happen again here in Boston (2009 and 2010), and this is their best possible chance at it before they hang 'em up. It was different with Ray for some reason (even though he was completely within his rights to take his talents to South Beach [ahh, THERE it is!] after Danny tried to trade him a couple of times and then Doc sat him for Avery Bradley). I don't know why, but it just was. Good luck, P2 and KG...I'll really miss you guys, but I can't wait to see what you do down in the BRK. Which leads me to another personal revelation...

* I'm going Back to the Future with these new Celtics, and I don't mind the trip. Back in the Ramon Rivas, Ricky Davis, Sherman Douglas transitions I still watched my C's faithfully, sliding slowly from the sadness of the passing of the original Big Three era, the frustration of the M.L. Carr era (the M.L. stood for Mediocricy of Losers), to the empty-faced dejection of watching the other teams in the NBA become what my once-proud Celtics had always been.

But you know what? I started to really enjoy basketball again. I watched with wonder and basket ball bliss as the Bulls, Suns, Spurs and Pistons (okay, Bulls, Suns and Spurs, anyway...) played great basketball against other up-and-coming teams and I got to appreciate just how hard it actually was for teams to get to the Finals and win a Championship. As Danny continues on in full "pardon our appearance as we remodel" mode, I'm looking around the League with all the talented players on rising teams like the Clippers, Warriors, Cavaliers, Rockets, Timberwolves, Pacers, Nets (yes, even the Nets) and I'm really excited for the future of basketball. Which leads me to this observation...

* The Celtics A) are not going to be THAT bad and B) the future looks pretty bright for the C's right about now. Kelly Olynyk looks like a steal at #13 (I know, I know summer league...but you can't fake some of the offensive skills this guy is showing), we still have the best point guard in the League, Jeff Green is going to continue to be exciting, we have a handful of promising young talent and  an even more promising six first-round picks in the next five years, Sullenger looks like a keeper and is taking on a little bit of a leadership role with his defiance of the Tanking Lobby...which takes me to my last thought...

* The Celtics would do well to not even think about pretending to wonder about the concept of tanking. I have only seven words to more than adequately illustrate why this is NEVER a good idea: Tim Duncan, Kevin Durant and Greg Oden. For all the lore about the Luck O' The Irish and Celtic Mystique, the Celtics have been REALLY unlucky when they decide to provoke the fates and play intentionally bad basketball. Sure, the C's turned a lemon into Limoncello with the Durant/Oden crap-out by trading a draft pick and three quarters of the team for the pieces that would bring us Banner # 17, but the point is, they didn't get what they were shooting for with the all-out tank job. Leave tanking to the real losers of the league. Cleveland and Orlando, though both are admittedly now on the way up (Cleveland is definitely going to be heard from sooner than later), have tanked in their respective pasts. Guess how many championships they've won between the two of them? Here's a hint: if the number were an ex-pro football player turned actor, his name would be Dick Bupkis. No, I think the Celtics are on the correct path compiling draft pick after draft pick, dumping salary and hiring for the future.

Which takes me to my last point...

I am, as I have repeatedly stated, a true CFL (Celtic For Life) and I will always follow my green like a good husband -- in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer.

But, I'm sure I can be forgiven this season when I sit down on some cold and lonely Winter's night -- bowl of chips and drink by my side with clicker in hand flipping through cable as I wait for my beloved Celtics -- but instead, I stumble across an old familiar friend or two...(something's different about them. Did they change their hair? No, they're dressing differently!) and spending a little time with the team from Brooklyn.

I mean, they're coming back to retire as a Celtic, right? It doesn't mean anything. I don't love the Nets, I just have some unresolved issues that I need to work out.

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Boston Magazine's Farewell To Pierce and Kevin Garnett, Sports Illustrated's "End Of An Era Feature On The Truth and Big Ticket, Boston Globe's Goodbye, Comcast Sports Net "Paul And KG End Of An Era" Coverage

GreenHeadz Regurgitations: As The Celtics Ponder The Future, Who Should Stay And Who Should Go?

The following post is the partial regurgitation of a story so good, we wish we wrote it ourselves! Follow the link at the end to catch the full story where it lives.

(The Following Story Originated On ESPN's "Boston Celtics Report" And Was Written By Chris Forsberg) 

Take 'em or leave 'em

By Chris Forsberg | ESPNBoston.com

Each year after the Celtics' season ends, we play a game of Take 'Em or Leave 'Em to determine which players the team should retain -- and which ones should be sent packing -- for next season.

Below are longer explanations for our decisions (sometimes five words just isn't enough to elaborate in the main piece). For the purpose of this year's exercise, we ran with the idea that the Celtics would bring back veterans Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett. While many have expressed a desire for Celtics president of basketball operations Danny Ainge to dismantle this roster, we subscribe to the notion that the shred-the-team path won't be particularly easy to do. That's not to say that Boston won't explore trade avenues before -- and during -- the 2013-14 season, it just seems that one of the clearer paths to roster turnover, while still remaining competitive, actually involves keeping the veteran core intact for season seven of a three-year plan.
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You can read the rest of this insightful article by clicking here.

And, when you're done with that, take the "Take Em' Or Leave 'Em" poll either at ESPN.com or by clicking here.

Despite Insane 20-To-Nothing Rally, Celtics Fall Short As Season Concludes

It's not that I didn't know this was a possibility, even a probability. But, I'm just not ready to write about this at all.

There are stories about Paul Pierce having played his last game for Boston, Kevin Garnett maybe retiring...I'm just not ready to put it all into words right now, it sucks too much. How could we have lost like THAT to THIS team? I can't stand it.

"I told them after the game that I couldn't be more proud of a group of guys who went through a ton of adversity all year with all the injuries."

 - Celtics coach Doc Rivers

Me, too. These guys have been through a LOT. No excuses. But, they SHOULD be proud of themselves.

Ah, well...I suppose I can take solace in the fact that they're about to get stomped...if not this round by the Indiana Pacers then DEFINITELY in the next one. Miami owes them some payback.

Look at that...am I really pulling for Miami now? Is that what it's come to?!?!

I really, REALLY don't want to write about this. I think I'm gonna need some time off before I clean out my blogging locker for the season.

Box Score

Tale Of The Tape (Yes, it IS worth it just to see the rally...but if it's too soon...)

Late To Their Own Funeral: Celtics Never Say Die Attitude Kills Knicks

 

Attention K-Mart shoppers...we are all out of funeral black clothing. Shoppers are advised to put on their regular clothes, shut the f**k up and play ball.

 

Holy Apples!!! I can't even put into words how fantasmic this win by the Green was.

From Kenyon Martin and Co. wearing black to what turned out to be their own funeral; to J.R. (no-shot's-too-far) Smith talking his way into an excremental shooting night to the doomsday pundits all having to give respect to the never-say-die Celtics after doing everything in their journalistic (I say this tongue-in-cheek) powers to help shovel the dirt on Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and the C's WAY prematurely. And even with all of THAT, the Knicks had the nerve to try and smacktalk the C's at the end of the game after getting served by them and thus providing their opponents with even more fuel to want to serve them even harder back in Boston (yeah, I know they say Jordan Crawford started it, but I watched the tape)! As the dearly departed 2-Pacalyptic one would say (even though he was born in the NYC) "Throw up the middle finger."

From Smith's punk-@$$ elbow to Jason Terry's face to his subsequent bullsh*t "I don't even know who I elbowed," to his laughably idiotic "If I played it would have been over" lead-in to a 3 for 14 crapfest of a game and then Martin's chalkboard choke telling his boys to "dress for a funeral" before not only eating his words and his feet, but eating his teammates as well who all followed dimwittedly along and dressed in black.

And...while I'm not buying the idea that's floating around out there that the Knicks "funeral" blunder was a calculated attempt to disrespect the City of Boston and its recent tragedies, I think the Knicks (K-Mart in particular) are a bunch of typically egotistical, self-centered and spoiled athletes who don't think past the tip of their own noses when they say anything not filtered by a publicist. They may not be malicious, but they sure are DUMB. It's almost as if they wanted the Celtics to come out with fire in their eyes. Well, mission accomplished.

The Snickerbockers unintended self-immolation may have been just what the Celtics needed to push them over the edge to play together against a common enemy, but it also speaks to a larger problem for New York moving forward, both in this series and later, if they escape the wrath of the C's.

It is exactly this kind of empty "Big City" hubris that reveals just how not-ready-for-primetime this squad is. I'm not saying that they're going to fold up and hide faster than a New York street vendor during a cop convention and lose to our beloved Celtics (which they very well might, though he odds are with them...for now), but it's clear that all of this self-distraction proves that they've got some serious growing up to do and, under the John Starks stark and unforgiving spotlight of the Playoffs, that learning curve can be VERY steep. Just ask LeBron and his Heat.

I'm sure I don't even have to mention the pyrotechnics and confetti and the "not one championship, not two, not three..." embarrassment that preceded the first season of LeBrash and Friends and we all know how that season ended up. This year? They came into the Playoffs and quickly, quietly and efficiently finished off the Milwaukee Bucks. You have heard nothing from them as they wait for the winner of the Chicago Bulls/Brooklyn Nets series. Not a peep. That's called maturity, something that these Knicks are still searching for. Hopefully they'll have plenty of time to search for it after Sunday.

As for the Celtics? Well...I think I'll just say it in pictures...

Brandon Bass has been a force on both the offensive end...

 

...and the defensive end guarding Carmelo.

 

Kevin Garnett has been nothing short of a revelation,

posting 4 consecutive double-doubles.

Captain Paul Pierce had started this series slowly, but he has come on of late to lead the team as the "point forward" filling in for the injured Rajon Rondo and still providing ample points (and just about everything else).

He does, however, have to begin respecting

the defense of Houseparty 2 Iman Shumpert.

 

Jeff Green has begun to fulfill some of the promise he came to Boston with in the Kendrick Perkins trade with OKC. His heart and recent aggression have been key to the C's attack.

 

 

Bench players like Terrence Williams have proven to

be valuable playoff assets, both on offense...

 

 

...and defense.

 

And there are a whooooole lot of other factors contributing to this team's resurgence, but with any luck...we'll get to those.

 

Box Score

 

Tale Of The Tape

 

THE BUZZ:

 

NBA Eastern Conference Playoffs --

Round 1, Game 6:

Celtics vs. Knicks

Friday, May 3rd, 2013

@ The Boston Garden

Boston, MA

 

The Top Ten Things The Celtics Need To Do To Win This Series

 

Hi, Folks.

Initially, I had intended to do this post earlier and get more in-depth, but because we're less than an hour away from tipoff to Game 5, I am just going to throw this off as a true "Top-Ten" list and perhaps flesh everything out when (not "if") the C's win in New York tonight.

So, without Freddy Adu Further Ado...

The Top-Ten Things The Celtics Must Do To Win This Series

10- You can't handle the truth, but The Truth MUST handle the ball -- put the ball back in Paul Pierce's able hands. I know he's had fumbleitis. Don't worry about it. Letting Avery Bradley be the point guard will help nail our coffin shut.

9- Da Do Run Run -- Get out and run. It's that simple. Advance the ball with the pass and everybody take off to the races. You CAN run in the Playoffs. Just ask the Celtics and Lakers of 1986.

8- Pass Me The Damn Ball -- Or should I say, pass each other the damn ball. The way that the Celtics were able to win the games after Rajon Rondo went down for the season was by playing a freestyle passing game that was more improvisational Hippie Ball than set plays. Pass it and you pass on through to the next series. And, if there's no good pass to be made...

7- Hold On! -- Do NOT turn the ball over. If there's nothing there, hold the ball and work short passes side to side. No more crosscourt, no more lackadaisical lobs...guard the ball with your Playoff lives!

6- The New Adventures Of Young Jeff Green -- Paul Pierce is the new Rondo. Jeff Green is the new Paul Pierce. Kevin Garnett? Just be you, big guy. Look, our only hope is with Paul Pierce at the Point-Forward position. He's found ample ways to score from that spot since back in February, so don't sweat it. Green? You do what Paul used to do: attack the basket on cuts and drives and spot up when it's open. You're the new "go-to" player. Get used to it. NOW.

5- You Don't Mess With The Zohan -- And by Zohan, I mean the lineup. Doc...I KNOW you always want to tinker with things in the Playoffs. Don't. The lineup you started last game is the one we had during the season and is also, coincidentally, the best chance we have at winning this thing. Save for injury...LEAVE THEM BE.

4- You Can't Have A Strong Bench If You Don't Play One -- Stop with this nonsense of shortening the Playoff rotations. If a guy can help and he's on the bench...PLAY HIM! If they aren't producing, get 'em outta there. But for Pistol Pete's Sake, let the Courtney Lee's and Terrence Williams' of the world try and stop the J.R. Smith's. They're built for games like these. Remember how you used to like to guarantee that so-and-so "was going to win this game for us?" As the old Lottery saying goes, "you can't win if you don't play."

3- Hip Hop Is Dead. So Is The Halfcourt Offense -- If you're looking for our halfcourt game, the entire thing is sitting on the bench nattily attired in an orange blazer and sweater combo. Rondo is the beginning and end of any thought of a memory of a dream of a halfcourt offense. DO NOT TRY TO RUN ONE...WE DON'T HAVE ONE!

2- Carmelo Rhymes With "Fellow" -- As in, "a singular fellow" meaining one guy. This is how we should play him. DO NOT DOUBLE TEAM MELO!! If you do one thing, Celtics, it is this. He's going to take his shots. If he scores 70, WHOOPEE!! We'll win by 25. Guard him with single coverage and let him have a ball shooting. A) he's going to miss his fair share as we've seen and B) nobody else is involved in the offense. Not J.R., not Houseparty 2 Shumpert, not Discount Double Check Novak, not Thanksgiving Felton...nobody. The Knicks can't win with only Melo taking shots. Need I remind you about that famous "world's best scorer ever in history" who scored 63 all by his lonesome against the '86 Celtics and lost the game and the series? Single coverage. If I am the coach and I see a double team, I'm going to list item #4 and you're hitting the bench, son.

1- Have fun out there. Look, I know when your basketball lives are hanging in the balance, the last thing you want to do is smile and pat each other on the back. But I promise you, a game well played is played with love of the game. Enjoy each other out there...it could be the last time you do it with this group of guys.

That's it, folks. Oh, wait! I forgot one last thing...